Dog Writings

Imagine a dog writing to God, what would he write?


   Dear God,

   How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom
   smell one another? Where are their priorities?

   ........................

   Dear God,

   When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is
   it the same old story?

   ....................................

   Dear God,

   Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the
   jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the
   stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog?
   How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs
   love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its
   own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler
   Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

   .....................

   Dear God,

   If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
   hears him, is he still a bad dog?

   ...............................

   Dear God,

   Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have
   on-ramps?

   .........................

   Dear God,

   If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

   .....................

   Dear God,

   More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

   ..................

   Dear God,

   When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake
   hands to get in?

   ...................

   Dear God,

   We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
   signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent
   IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight
   paths. What do humans understand?

   .............................

   Dear God,

   Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I
   have been howling at the moon and stars for a long
   time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across
   the street!

   ..........................

   Dear God,

   Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have
   to apologize?

   .........................

   Dear God,

   Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants
   because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order?
   Or is it the carpets thing, again?